Jerry Payne, Ghostwriter, Editor, Memoir Instructor
Some Hard Truths…and Some Hopeful Ones
You’ve been thinking about it for years. Maybe decades. Every so often the thought returns: Maybe I should write my life story. Then the doubts begin…
In my twenty years of ghostwriting memoirs, I’ve noticed more than a few commonalities amongst my many clients. First and foremost, they were all interesting people with interesting lives. It makes sense; you don’t typically think about writing your life story unless you’ve got a pretty compelling one. But secondly, almost all of them, no matter how compelling their lives, struggled at first with the question of whether they should really go through with it. What has continually struck me is how uncertain people can be about the value to others of their own life experiences.
“Will people really want to read about my life?” is one of the first questions potential clients ask me. They’re looking for affirmation. And it’s understandable. It’s a big investment of time and money. Will it be worth it? Does the potential author really have something important to say, something others will appreciate?
Two Questions
What I’ve discovered is that, in reality, there are two questions on the table:
1. Will people want to read my story?
2. Will people read my story?
These are two entirely different questions. I tell them I can only answer the first. And the answer is almost always YES! We all have interesting lives. We all have something to share. We all have different perspectives, different life experiences from which we all take unique lessons. Life, by its very nature, is rich and fascinating. Everybody’s. Great memoirs aren’t necessarily about extraordinary events. They’re about ordinary events that made a difference. Yes, people will want to read about your life.
Assuming it’s well-told, of course. Your life is a story. Most people don’t realize this about their lives and so they end up rolling their memoirs out in a flat, pedestrian way as a series of chronological events in certain places on certain dates. Zzzzz. Stories, well told, have narrative arcs—actions, crises, climaxes, resolutions. They have solid character development. They have flow. They revolve around themes, giving them universality, no matter the particular circumstances. Lives have all this too. Everybody’s life can be told in an interesting way. (I can show you how.)
But the second question—well, this one is harder to answer. Notice what’s really being asked: If I take the time and effort to write my life story, will people read it? Will they even find it? Will I sell lots of copies? Will I make money off of it? These aren’t questions of motivation, they’re questions about results.
The Realities of the Publishing Marketplace
Will people read your story?
This question, I cannot answer. To be perfectly frank, chances are pretty good that you will not sell a lot of copies. The publishing industry is frustratingly competitive these days and publishers are extraordinarily careful about what they publish.
The good news is that you no longer need to involve a publishing house to release your book to the public. You can self-publish. With a little effort, you can make your book available to Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-a-Million, and every other book retailer. (I cover the entire process in my memoir instruction course.)
But what’s going to be missing if you self-publish is the marketing that a publishing house would do for the book. You’ll have to do that yourself. Now, I’ve had clients who have performed extremely well with their marketing efforts. Through social media and other avenues, they’ve been able to reach a lot of people and sell a lot of books. Other clients? Not so much.
Often, I can say with confidence that an author’s marketing efforts will determine to a large degree the level of a book’s success. But not always. The book-buying public is a fickle lot. One never knows what sells and what doesn’t. And it doesn’t help that there are so many new books coming out all the time. By one recent estimate, more than 10,000 a day! (The good thing about self-publishing is that you don’t need to find a publishing house. The bad thing is that nobody else does either.)
So where does that leave us? Yes, if told properly, people will want to read your book. Will they read it? Well, they’ll have to find it first. Effective marketing will increase your odds, but there are no guarantees.
All of Which Means…
Here, let’s bottom-line this. I’ll tell you what I tell all my potential clients. If you have a book in you—a memoir or otherwise—and you feel as though it has to come out, that you’ll live to regret it one day if you don’t get it out, then I believe you should write your book. If, on the other hand, you’re looking to produce a bestseller, maybe even make a lot of money in the process, then I think you should reconsider. It’s almost a certainty that you will not produce a bestseller or make a lot of money in the process. The real questions you have to ask yourself are these:
Will I be okay with it if only a few people read my book?
Will it be enough for me if my readership is not much more than friends and family?
If the lessons of my life end up benefiting just one or two people, will that be worth it?
Will it be sufficient to think that maybe only a single grandchild (or perhaps sometime in the future a great grandchild, or even great-great grandchild) will enjoy reading about my life?
Will it be enough if the only one benefiting from the writing is me, through the catharsis and healing and perspective that only writing about one’s life can provide?
If your answer to any of these questions is yes, then, by all means: write your memoir! If, after serious reflection, your honest answer to all of these questions is no, then you should probably consider dropping the idea before you end up spending a lot of time and effort (and money, if you hire a ghostwriter like me) on something that’s not going to satisfy you. Thank yourself for your honesty and move on to something else.
But if You Do It, Do It Right
If you’re still thinking of proceeding (and I hope you are), your focus now should be on making sure you do things right. This will probably be the only book you ever write. Don’t make a mess of it. Remember, after you’re gone, there will be nobody around to tell your story. Take some time to learn the craft of memoir writing. It doesn’t have to be my course, but you ought to find some professional instruction somewhere. You owe it to yourself and, more importantly, you owe it to your reader.
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If you’ve decided your memoir is worth writing, congratulations. Now do it!
“The Memoir Letter”: Every week, I send one thoughtful email about memoir writing—not spam, not endless sales pitches, just practical advice drawn from years of helping ordinary people turn extraordinary lives into compelling books. We’ll talk about finding the real story hidden inside your life, avoiding the mistakes that cause most memoirs to fall flat, organizing your memories, developing a narrative arc, navigating the publishing process, marketing tips, and so much more.
You can unsubscribe at any time, but my hope is that each week’s email nudges you one step closer to telling the story only you can tell.